By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
