She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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