I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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