Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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