two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
