I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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