SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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