His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
