She went from zero to smokin in five shots
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
