i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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