I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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