I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
