worst night to have a conscience
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
