I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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