so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
