There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
