Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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