Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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