i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
