I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
