pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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