Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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