ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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