Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
