he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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