one two three fourrrrnication!
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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