Tell her she can't have a vagina
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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