So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Holy shit dude........stairs
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
