she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
