You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Randomize
