so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
