OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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