It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
