He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
