I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
