Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
