I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
