I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
