It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
