BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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