My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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