Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
