Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
