i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
