Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I pour the whiskey from now on
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
