Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Randomize
