Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
