No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
