fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
