dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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